THIS is what I missed...

Saturday night Sean went to his brothers house for the First Annual Deering Ugly Christmas Sweater party. I, of course, am stuck down here so I missed it...I could not be more unhappy that I missed this. Mike and Sommer (Sean's bro and SIL) went all out with meatball subs, drinks, and Mike even created a photo backdrop for people to have pictures in front of. THIS is what I missed!!

Sommer and Sean with their prizes!

Good friends Glenn and Sarah (with baby #4 on board!) Two of my favorite people up there!

The whole gang! Sean and his brother Mike are in front with Glenn. Mike actually grew his mustache out just for this party I think!

Everyone voted for the ugliest sweater and Sean and his SIL Sommer won!! They won Elvis ornaments, Sean pointed out that this is our first engagement ornament! I cannot wait to be living up there and have all of these people in my life on a daily basis. People up north are just a little different. They are closer knit, not in such a hurry, and more genuine. I can't tell you how many times a friend of mine has said "Let's do something soon" or "I'll give you a call" and they don't. I'm starting to get a complex about it. Am I that dull? Why do my "friends" suck so bad? SO flakey! I'm changing in my friends for the Northern Michigan folks and couldn't be more excited about it, these are some FUN people!

I have an emotionally unstable Aunt. I have not talked to her in almost a year, since she called me twice last Christmas and yelled at me telling me she had "washed her hands" of my brother and I because we did not get her 13 year old son anything for Christmas. Long story but I refuse to excuse her behavior and am not yet ready to talk to her again. Tonight, because she found out my Mom's 85 year old neighbor was giving my Grandma cigarettes, she drove to my Mom's house and caused a scene. My Grandma likes to visit with my Mom's neighbor, Gerry. They have coffee, snacks, gossip, and smoke. My Grandma does NOT buy cigarettes as she only smokes with Gerry. So, my Aunt pounded on my Mom's door and then stormed over to Gerry's and tried to yell at her. My mom went out on her porch and told my Aunt to leave poor Gerry alone. My Aunt replied with obscene vulgarities and then left. She THEN drove to my Grandma's (they all live within 6 blocks of each other) and when my Grandma refused to answer the door my Aunt went to the garage and got a saw to try to saw the door handle off so she could get into my Grandma's house.
My Mom wanted to call the cops but my Grandma said no, she didn't want my Aunt to get arrested and lose her job because if that happens my Grandma would "have to" loan my Aunt MORE money. I told my Mom that the next time she pulls crap like that that she SHOULD call the cops. They won't arrest her, unless she damages something, but that it may scare her enough to think twice before pulling a stunt like this again. Enough is enough. I understand Bi-polar disorder, I am a Psych major, but there comes a point when IMPULSE CONTROL needs to be practiced. She is 45, she's had this disorder for YEARS, and if she can't control herself by this point then something needs to be done. What a mess. All of this lead to my Mom crying and my Grandma having to take a "nerve pill".

So, that's pretty much it. One more week until I get to head up to Traverse again to see our house!! No, I have not seen the inside in person yet...weird I know but I trust Sean and saw pics online. Even online though there are no pics of the bathrooms or bedrooms so it's a mystery and exciting! I have packed most everything up and patched the nail holes. All I need now is a light cover for my bedroom ceiling fan because two springs ago I busted mine practicing my golf swing...so funny.

Have a GREAT week!!

I'm just saying...

Okay, so I promised Yaya that I would do a green post today in honor of my favorite color. Her's is orange and I thought I'd try that blog idea. However, I don't have any green pics saved on the work computer and I want to talk about a couple of other things more.

First, I decided to un-follow someone today. It's a crappy thing to do, I know, but there are some blogs that send negative vibes my way. I don't even know what it is really, I just get really ticked off reading some blogs. I take thing personally I guess. I have no patience when it comes to people who desperately need some perspective. I also have no patience for people that moan and groan about stuff that they HAVE CONTROL OVER and can change. Instead of making positive changes, they piss and moan about things. Yes, it's THEIR blog, they can write whatever they want, I just can't read it. I do moan and groan a bit sometimes but I also actively do things to change circumstances that cause the moaning and groaning. And it's hard for me to remain pleasant when it's so obvious when people are digging for compliments. I am the type that is usually uncomfortable with compliments. It reminds me of my high school bestie who was so thin that people actually asked me if she were anorexic. She wasn't, I saw her eat all the time. She was tall, about 5'7", and weighed all of about 110 pounds. CLEARLY she was thin, mostly bones, and kind of sickly looking but she DID eat. One night she said something about how fat she was. I knew she was fishing for a compliment and that irked me. I told her "Go on a diet if you think you're fat." Probably not going to get an award for best friend but I am honest although I usually have more tact than that.
Anywho, as bad as I feel un-following someone, I'm not going to love every blog I read or follow. Sometimes you start following a blog and find out that you were a little premature when it came to following them in the first place. It's just like when you meet someone and your feelings towards them change as you get to know them. You either end up liking them more, less, or being indifferent to the whole thing. So, I give you FULL permission to un-follow me if at any time I become annoying to you...and no, I am NOT asking you to comment about how you would NEVER un-follow because you love me.
Next order of business (did that first part sound snotty? I think it kind of did...)
Tiger Woods. I play golf, I love golf, I love WATCHING golf more than any other sport. That said, Tiger is not my favorite player. He's not even on my Top 5 list. Mostly because he has won SO much that I always want the underdog to beat him. Yes, he's an AWESOME player but any tournament he is in is usually boring because he wins by SO MUCH. It's not as fun to watch when Tiger is up 10 strokes. The tournaments that he opts out of or doesn't play in are usually the most exciting. Tiger was in a car "accident" Friday morning and things are getting weirder and weirder with this "accident" You can read all about it on the Internet, just search Tiger Woods Car Accident. Anyway, I hadn't heard this and who knows how true it is but the rumor is that he has been messing around with some nightclub hostess, Rachel something. I searched for her because I have nothing better to do on my midnight shift at work and she is actually pretty gross if you ask me. Compared to his gorgeous wife. Looks aren't everything I guess.

What do you guys think? And also, what is your biggest pet peeve about other bloggers? What makes you want to stop reading?

Rachel something...known for dating married celebrities

Tiger's wife, Elin.

Seems like forever...

For some reason it seems like forever since I posted. I have been in a funk folks. Not a "crying want to hurt myself" funk but a "down in the dumps" funk none the less. These are few and far between thank God. And, I haven't been taking my St. John's Wort so perhaps I better start downing those bad boys again.

My Thanksgiving consisted of me sleeping on and off all day and having store brand Mac and Cheese for dinner. Blah. I had to work that night so I needed to sleep my normal schedule. My mom, grandma, and adulterous grandpa went OUT to eat and my Dad always does a low key Thanksgiving, complete with some unique meal, ribs this year. Sean felt bad I think because I was alone but honestly it was fine. His folks had 22 people or something over. They always have lots of family over, they have a HUGE family. I have spent the past two Thanksgivings up in TC with his family so I was okay about missing this year.

I am most worried about a job and money, what's new. I have lived paycheck to paycheck my entire life. If I have extra money, something pops up. If I NEED money, something pops up. So it evens out. That said, it has been YEARS since I have been jobless. I check Monster, Michigan Works, and the paper classified nearly every single day and nothing. I am beginning to freak out a little bit. Add to this the fact that somehow I over drafted my account (which has only happened like three times in 5 years) and had to pay $70 in fees AND the fact that because of the holiday I had to "rush payment" my credit card and pay an extra $15...not a happy camper. Time is ticking away and I REALLY would love to have a job when I get up there. I don't want to wait because then it's another 2-3 weeks until you get a flippin check. I will have about a months worth saved but that's not much considering the wait when you first start a job.

I am excited about the house. It's beautiful. But not having a job or money rains on that parade because I can't buy little things that I want. A new cute rug, new kitchen towels, little things that would make me happy and completed a room. I am even worried about our first big grocery shop. I don't want Sean to have to pay for everything. My grandma said "Don't rush a job, he has money." Uh....nooooo...what HE has is an $1100 mortgage payment. He doesn't make THAT much. Don't get me wrong, when Sean decided on this house he decided on one that he could afford by himself, because he knew I wouldn't necessarily be able to help on the mortgage at first. But, he shouldn't have to pay for his bills PLUS my bills, and truthfully, I don't think he could without dipping into savings.

It just sucks. I can't even really be fully excited because the joblessness overshadows everything. I am expecting to hear something from my "really great job" prospect next week. The posting closed Tuesday and I didn't expect to hear anything this week due to the holiday. I have two recommendation letters from supervisors here and the "big boss" (head of the entire juvenile center) offered to write me one without me even asking. Obviously I took her up on her offer. It can't hurt. I just don't want to end up working at the grocery store or serving tables. I've done both, and enjoy both ALOT, but I'd be taking a 50% pay cut with either probably. And it's a pretty big shot to my ego to have a BS in Psychology and be serving tables or scanning cereal....at 32 years old. I'll do what I have to do but I won't like it and the longer I am out of the Psych field, the harder it is to get back in.

Anyway, sorry for the low post. I am looking forward to all of your encouraging comments, because you guys are pretty great about that :) And to end this on a good note, I am posting a video of my favorite Christmas carol. This house is AMAZING. If you can, dim your lights and enjoy! If you search for Holdman Christmas on youtube you can see many more displays by this amazing family!

The List!

Allyson did a post recently about her "list". Ladies, you may be familiar with this list...guys too (the two that follow me anyway, Otin and Bobby G). I have always considered myself VERY immature when it comes to certain emotional aspects. I blame this on being raised by an alcoholic for 13 years of my life. I feel it stunted my emotional development. So while I AM 32, I am really 19. Makes sense to me. The GREAT thing is I am with a guy that tolerates me while telling me how wonderful I am (just tonight he said I was "perfect"...awe).
Seriously though, this post was supposed to be fun and somehow it's turned into me, yet again, blowing smoke about my childhood and "faults".
Okay, so the list is a list of CELEBRITIES that you would be allowed to play around with while committed. Only because it would NEVER happen. It's FUN. It doesn't mean you are a whore, it doesn't mean you are dishonest or disrespectful to your man or your vows. It's FUN. Studies show that fantasy can be VERY beneficial to relationships. For instance, my fantasy may be for Sean to dress up in a Tim Riggins football uniform. Just saying...if you don't know who Tim Riggins is, and you should if you've been ready my blog for any length of time, you're about to find out because he is NUMERO UNO on my "list"....

Taylor Kitsch (Tim Riggins #33 on NBC Friday Night Lights. New episodes in January on NBC)


Jared Leto ladies! Also known as "Jordan Catalano" from the MTV hit "My So Called Life". He is now the front man for the band "30 Seconds to Mars". Yuuummmy. My high school bestie Nicole and I used to hyperventilate while watching him on MTV. She, NO KIDDING, used to have to LEAVE THE ROOM because she couldn't handle his hotness. Oddly enough, we both have a crush on Tommy Lee as well but he did not make my list due to his sex tape with Pamela Anderson (yuck).

Nicole and I at our 11 year class reunion (about 3 years ago)

Ryan Gosling. He's an awesome actor. He's also an advocate for the crap going down in Darfur. It was because of him, and only him, that I watched the documentary about Darfur. I am shallow enough that sometimes it takes a hot guy to get me to learn about things OUTSIDE of the US.


Joshua Jackson. Good ole' Pacey Whitter. "Dawson's Creek". James VanDerBeek has NOTHING on Joshua, or Joshie as I like to call him. Now he's on "Fringe" which I don't watch but he's still on my list.


Eminem. Yes, judge all you want ladies but Marshal Mathers makes my heart sing. Not only do I think he is a genius but he is smokin'. Plus, he's from Detroit. Quick story, I actually met and got to be around Em for a little while. I cannot go into detail but he is super cool, QUIET, shorter than you'd think (maybe 5'8") and funny as hell! He's a good dad and humble guy.

Sean. Oooops, how did he sneak in here? He IS my list, for the rest of my life ;) Funny, HOT, funny, kind, PATIENT beyond belief, and MY future husband! Yowsa!


So there you have it, my list. If you would like to join in feel free. If there is someone you think should be ON this list that perhaps I forgot, please, tell me!

I will leave a few pictures of the ladies for Otin and Bobby G. Just so they don't feel left out.

Shakira Otin


Salma Bobby G

Randomosity

Woo-Hoo! Thank GOD it's my Friday! I need these next two days. I am going to pack and try not to completely freak out about not having a job. I am getting more and more nervous and there's not a whole lot I can do from Ann Arbor at this point.
It looks like the house will close tomorrow. Sean will leave work at 3pm and head to the closing. I think anyway. I think my Mom is heading up there too...I COULD go with her I suppose. I hadn't even thought about that. DUH!
I had a HORRIBLE dream yesterday and I just re-remembered it. I usually remember my dreams, maybe 3 times a week, which I love because usually they are pleasant. This one was NOT. I dreamt that there was a nuclear chemical attack and people were exposed to radiation. They were shaking and seizing like cockroaches. Somehow I managed to survive, although I do remember feeling ill. I ended up in a cabin of sorts and the attack spurred an avalanche. The snow covered the cabin and it protected us from the radiation. I don't remember who "us" was but we lived. I was glad to wake up! The other day I had a dream that my back teeth kept falling out but instead of picking teeth out of my mouth they were little nuggets of glass. I had two hand fulls by the time I woke up.
I looked up the meaning to these dreams (I already knew the teeth one because I've had that one alot). The nuclear attack AND avalanche both sort of mean the same thing: that I have bottled up emotion that is about to erupt and that I feel vulnerable, helpless, and stressed. That important changes are about to take place. Ya' think?! Sheesh.
My nose is raw and dry and peely from blowing it so much. It looks VERY unattractive, probably a good thing that I don't have any job interviews huh?
Sean's newest idea is to move 90% of my stuff out of my apartment when he moves the storage unit within the next two weeks. Including my bed. His plan is to have me sleep on an air mattress. At first I was like "WHAT?!" But it's a good idea I guess, to get the most out of the moving truck and be able to move the rest of my stuff when I move. I guess he plans on doing that with his car. Who knows. I'd still have my TV, a table, microwave, dishes, lamps, bathroom stuff, and clothes. We have to talk about it a little more. I don't know if he realizes how much I WILL still need considering I still have a month to live down here...unless I get a good job before the end of December, not likely.
That's all. I keep forgetting to leave you with a music choice. Today may be a little out of left field. SHAKIRA! I used to LOVE her (Laundry Service album was AWESOME). My Dad is IN LOVE with her, the old pervert! Anyhow, I saw her on Good Morning America recently and LOVE this new song "Gypsy" from her new album, "She Wolf", due out today! She's g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s. Enjoy!

Monday Monday

Here's to another week! I hope your is fabulous.

I took a sick day last night from work. I felt like absolute dog crap. I slept 12 hours (9pm-9am), got up for 3 hours, and slept for another 4 hours. I came to work tonight because I have no sick time in my bank and I refuse to use Comp Time or Vacation Time because that is to be used for my "Sean Visits". I still feel pretty crappy but if my headache would go away I would be alot better. I'm thinking sinus infection at this point. That's what Sean thought he had and I am inclined to believe the same because of the color of my boogies...yuck.

Anywho, it looks like the house closing will be THIS WEEK! Can you believe it?! It's a FAST closing, like three weeks. They wanted to close today but Sean has to work and he didn't know of these plans soon enough to switch his day off for the week (he works four 10 hour days). He has Friday off so we'll see if that's the closing date or if he ends up being able to switch with someone at work. There is some talk about banks being closed Friday??!! Are they normally closed the day AFTER Thanksgiving? That sounds stupid to me. Whatever, we'll see.
I am excited about the house but my excitement is overshadowed by the fact that I have no job. It looks like I will be able to save about a months worth of bills before moving. Soon after, hopefully, I will get my security deposit back from my landlords, which is close to another month. THEN, I will have a couple of months worth coming back from income taxes. But, this is just money for MY bills. This does not include any bills for the house (mortgage, utilities, groceries). So, that sucks. I want to be able to help Sean out. I HATE HATE worrying about money. I have a job prospect but am not going to talk about it AT ALL because I kind of believe in jinxes and won't do that to myself. But please keep your fingers crossed and pray that I get a shot at this job.
I have next to nothing packed. I packed up alot of the kitchen yesterday but I get so overwhelmed with packing. Plus, I need some bubble wrap or something. Most of our stuff is in storage but we want Sean to move most everything when he comes down after closing with a U-Haul truck. His job pays for it up to $1000 so we'd like to get most of it in a big truck and just use a pick-up for my stuff in the apartment at the end of December. I'm tossing my couch and chair so I really don't need much for my stuff. I will be SO glad when we are all moved in, I have a job, and we get settled.
Okie Dokie, nothing much to say. Have a great week!

Fighting...

So, I guess it was inevitable. I have officially been given my first Winter cold. I am almost certain that Sean is the gifter. He was very sick two days while I was up there and I refuse to obey his "no kissing on the lips" rule, this is what I get.
I woke up today feeling okay but quickly went downhill. By the time I felt REALLY bad it was too late to call off of work so I am going to suck it up and get through this night.
I firmly believe in herbal remedies. Whenever I can I will take herbs rather than prescriptions. I got all of my little cold fighting soldiers in order tonight and started on my cold fighting regimen. While I was up north to see Sean, just after he proposed, I ran up to Walgreen's and picked him up some Zicam and Emergen-C. Thankfully, I have some of these things at home as well.

MY COLD FIGHTING CREW

Zicam nasal swabs. I usually use the spray but this is all I have so I am using these. The reports of major side effects mean nothing to me. I have used Zicam for years and have been fine.

Esberitox. This stuff is a little tough to find (I found it at Whole Foods and before that Better Health). It's like a super charged Echinacea. I like it although it is a bit pricey and you are supposed to take 9 pills a day.


Emergen-C. Basically all this is is Vitamin C in HUGE amounts. It tastes good and I mix one packet with my water. Don't buy the Ruby Honey Lemon or whatever, it's nasty.


So there you have it. While at Walgreen's the pharmacist told me that HE uses Cold-Eeze Zinc cough drops and Elderberry extract when he feels something coming on. I may try that sometime but for now I am using what I already had at home. If I feel this bad tomorrow it will be another sick day for me, the last one I have in my work bank...

I hope you all are feeling okay!!

PS: It looks like I predicted right and ABC will not be picking up any additional episodes of "Eastwick". DAMN IT!